








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 268 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 205 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2682 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,305 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1500 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1949 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2047 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1809 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $585,564 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kris | 78% | 27 |
| #2 | Holl1s | 74% | 35 |
| #3 | twitch.tv/f00bie | 72% | 39 |
| #4 | eM- | 71% | 17 |
| #5 | N8 | 71% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Jackmon- | 60% | 15 |
| #11 | EL FABIOLO | 60% | 82 |
| #12 | Nir | 59% | 22 |
| #13 | Fra | 58% | 19 |
| #14 | NOX | 57% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Longo | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #2 | NOX | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | wingie | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NKZ | 447 | 0.30 | 13 min |
| #2 | Longo | 329 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | EL FABIOLO | 222 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | NOX | 187 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | twitch.tv/f00bie | 184 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EL FABIOLO | +2.24 | 93 | 69 |
| #2 | Holl1s | +1.54 | 78 | 72 |
| #3 | N8 | +1.30 | 90 | 52 |
| #4 | Whindanski*[p$] | +1.21 | 81 | 59 |
| #5 | eM- | +1.12 | 84 | 69 |





