








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 783 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 568 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 147 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4668 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,776 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4891 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4844 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6252 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5789 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,396,012 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 464 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teb | 12 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | ZiMbO | 7 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Kapybara | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | ✪ dome | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | HuKe | 3 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blizhazard | 705 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #2 | crito | 592 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #3 | ZiMbO | 474 | 0.34 | 11 min |
| #4 | frs | 319 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | teb | 273 | 0.08 | 9 min |





