








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2325 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 746 matches | ||
| Faceit | 165 matches | ||
| Esplay | 159 matches | 1,714 | |
| Competitive Anubis | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Renown | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 27 different maps





Our logs show 167 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13199 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 70,627 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 21778 | 31% |
| Smokes | 21650 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 13085 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 14114 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,139,949 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3047 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hepo | 47% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hepo | 47% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hepo | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hepo | 196 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crito | -0.22 | 57 | 70 |
| #2 | Hepo | -0.28 | 63 | 55 |





