








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1699 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 441 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 101 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5584 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,086 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2918 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3673 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4295 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3200 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,209,488 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 536 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hhavu | 62% | 87 |
| #2 | Kapybara | 60% | 84 |
| #3 | RoXoR | 58% | 31 |
| #4 | Hepo | 55% | 157 |
| #5 | frs | 55% | 170 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mentos | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | hhavu | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Hepo | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Kapybara | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Blizhazard | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blizhazard | 754 | 0.22 | 20 min |
| #2 | frs | 434 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | hhavu | 347 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #4 | Kapybara | 301 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | Hepo | 296 | 0.08 | 7 min |





