








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2842 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 684 matches | ||
| Faceit | 488 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 226 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10125 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 49,819 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11492 | 23% |
| Smokes | 13664 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 13213 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 11450 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,914,161 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 324 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ProPottu | 57% | 63 |
| #2 | teb | 55% | 170 |
| #3 | Pandemy | 54% | 160 |
| #4 | Por1lainen | 54% | 470 |
| #5 | Kapybara | 53% | 532 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | NiQezerino | 49% | 65 |
| #15 | cc | 48% | 241 |
| #16 | Kakefuri | 47% | 96 |
| #17 | puikale | 42% | 132 |
| #18 | 🅴🆇 1 🆃🅸🆄🅼 | 41% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cc | 16 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Jarski | 12 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Por1lainen | 10 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | teb | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Kapybara | 8 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kapybara | 2079 | 0.18 | 50 min |
| #2 | cc | 1316 | 0.26 | 39 min |
| #3 | Por1lainen | 1081 | 0.11 | 29 min |
| #4 | JaansKA:_D | 958 | 0.23 | 20 min |
| #5 | cs____janne | 870 | 0.12 | 23 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NiQezerino | +2.23 | 65 | 64 |
| #2 | Jarski | +1.99 | 72 | 66 |
| #3 | Kapybara | +1.81 | 66 | 77 |
| #4 | hhavu | +1.71 | 66 | 77 |
| #5 | teb | +1.29 | 80 | 64 |





