








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 913 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 349 matches | ||
| Faceit | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4990 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,221 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6096 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4778 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3349 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3998 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,282,721 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John-David[sc] | 62% | 34 |
| #2 | Kyo* | 60% | 40 |
| #3 | ROU✘CARNAGE[lpdq] | 57% | 68 |
| #4 | zalek | 56% | 32 |
| #5 | Greyou | 56% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Svetlana | 10 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | 👶TaR👶 | 10 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | beNtw | 8 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Yaki.C | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Greyou | 6 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yaki.C | 544 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #2 | Greyou | 310 | 0.29 | 8 min |
| #3 | Svetlana | 246 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | beNtw | 235 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | 👶TaR👶 | 215 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyo* | +3.40 | 84 | 75 |
| #2 | zalek | +1.58 | 78 | 65 |
| #3 | 👶TaR👶 | +1.35 | 55 | 71 |
| #4 | John-David[sc] | +1.08 | 61 | 75 |
| #5 | Yaki.C | +1.03 | 85 | 75 |





