








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 272 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2516 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,713 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1784 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3868 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 2059 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2002 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $595,720 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 171 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Disco- | 56% | 43 |
| #2 | .50AE | 53% | 76 |
| #3 | Carbon16 | 53% | 114 |
| #4 | Paul | 52% | 103 |
| #5 | Neptune | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Paul | 52% | 103 |
| #5 | Neptune | 50% | 22 |
| #6 | King | 45% | 53 |
| #7 | Entenstein | 32% | 22 |
| #8 | Muffin | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Muffin | 5 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | Carbon16 | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Paul | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Entenstein | 3 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | .50AE | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paul | 97 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #2 | King | 83 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | .50AE | 54 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Muffin | 42 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Carbon16 | 30 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Muffin | +3.27 | 90 | 53 |
| #2 | ***GeneralMitch***/rE/ | +0.89 | 45 | 64 |
| #3 | .50AE | +0.61 | 40 | 53 |
| #4 | Disco- | +0.24 | 67 | 46 |
| #5 | Paul | -0.68 | 49 | 61 |





