








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 112 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1007 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,820 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 792 | 21% |
| Smokes | 995 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 997 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1036 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $255,857 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paul | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | Disco- | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | ***GeneralMitch***/rE/ | 50% | 22 |
| #4 | Carbon16 | 49% | 41 |
| #5 | King | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paul | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | Disco- | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | ***GeneralMitch***/rE/ | 50% | 22 |
| #4 | Carbon16 | 49% | 41 |
| #5 | King | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carbon16 | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Paul | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | King | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paul | 39 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | ***GeneralMitch***/rE/ | 20 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #3 | King | 20 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Carbon16 | 8 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | Disco- | 7 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ***GeneralMitch***/rE/ | +3.05 | 54 | 46 |
| #2 | Disco- | +2.17 | 60 | 28 |
| #3 | Paul | +1.92 | 64 | 66 |
| #4 | King | +0.45 | 26 | 58 |
| #5 | Carbon16 | +0.44 | 50 | 41 |





