








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 56 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2364 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,906 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1234 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1074 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 3328 | 48% |
| Molotovs | 1270 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,039,162 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 441 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Carbon16 | 49% | 116 |
| #8 | Retlaw42 | 48% | 56 |
| #9 | Paul | 47% | 141 |
| #10 | King | 46% | 48 |
| #11 | VENENO/rE/ | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -dIRTY | 12 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Paul | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | ***GeneralMitch***/rE/ | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Alias | 3 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Disco- | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -dIRTY | 344 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | Paul | 136 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | Disco- | 128 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #4 | ***GeneralMitch***/rE/ | 96 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | King | 81 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -dIRTY | +3.16 | 77 | 67 |
| #2 | ***GeneralMitch***/rE/ | +2.24 | 43 | 62 |
| #3 | .50AE | +1.26 | 46 | 53 |
| #4 | -Raggdoll | +0.85 | 59 | 60 |
| #5 | Disco- | +0.49 | 65 | 43 |





