








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 634 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 341 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3883 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,368 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1233 | 9% |
| Smokes | 3646 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6593 | 49% |
| Molotovs | 1896 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,177,266 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1998 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ***GeneralMitch***/rE/ | 53% | 114 |
| #2 | .50AE | 49% | 116 |
| #3 | Neptune | 49% | 41 |
| #4 | Paul | 49% | 360 |
| #5 | Disco- | 48% | 301 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paul | 27 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | VENENO/rE/ | 10 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | King | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | -dIRTY | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Disco- | 5 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VENENO/rE/ | 656 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #2 | Paul | 435 | 0.06 | 13 min |
| #3 | King | 411 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #4 | -dIRTY | 265 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | Disco- | 205 | 0.03 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -dIRTY | +3.48 | 75 | 67 |
| #2 | ***GeneralMitch***/rE/ | +2.52 | 49 | 61 |
| #3 | .50AE | +1.39 | 46 | 55 |
| #4 | Disco- | +1.16 | 64 | 41 |
| #5 | Paul | -0.26 | 58 | 61 |





