








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 955 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 445 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4710 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,447 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3932 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3874 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5336 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3305 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,489,308 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1981 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -dIRTY | 12 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | VENENO/rE/ | 11 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | King | 11 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Disco- | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Carbon16 | 8 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VENENO/rE/ | 694 | 0.12 | 21 min |
| #2 | King | 382 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | -dIRTY | 354 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #4 | Disco- | 213 | 0.03 | 7 min |
| #5 | Carbon16 | 212 | 0.03 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -dIRTY | +3.62 | 77 | 67 |
| #2 | ***GeneralMitch***/rE/ | +2.59 | 46 | 61 |
| #3 | Disco- | +1.17 | 64 | 43 |
| #4 | .50AE | +0.97 | 42 | 53 |
| #5 | Paul | -0.38 | 56 | 62 |





