








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 247 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Esplay | 26 matches | 1,532 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1231 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,334 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2081 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1625 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1566 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1062 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $248,959 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Robban | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Mr.Bager | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | nbq | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | s1mples_sidehoe | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | Ea | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ._. | 38% | 8 |
| #8 | sIW ♿ | 38% | 16 |
| #9 | mcknn | 37% | 19 |
| #10 | Zinkostos | 29% | 14 |
| #11 | Escobars_sideh0e | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xsmoizz | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | mcknn | 2 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | s1mples_sidehoe | 2 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | Zinkostos | 1 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | nbq | 1 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xsmoizz | 128 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #2 | mcknn | 70 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | sIW ♿ | 61 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | Zinkostos | 35 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | s1mples_sidehoe | 28 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nbq | +5.12 | 85 | 66 |
| #2 | Robban | +2.50 | 75 | 73 |
| #3 | Mr.Bager | +2.41 | 52 | 67 |
| #4 | entoNf1sk? | +1.30 | 50 | 69 |
| #5 | Zinkostos | +0.58 | 52 | 60 |





