








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 451 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3865 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,503 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3778 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2874 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 5925 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 3926 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,172,681 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tom | 64% | 45 |
| #2 | 𝖈𝖍0𝖕 | 63% | 40 |
| #3 | nbq | 57% | 37 |
| #4 | ._. | 54% | 28 |
| #5 | Olovski '') | 51% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Maaki | 46% | 56 |
| #8 | Mattepatte | 45% | 40 |
| #9 | Escobars_sideh0e | 43% | 53 |
| #10 | sIW ♿ | 43% | 28 |
| #11 | medinakorven | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tom | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | 𝖈𝖍0𝖕 | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Mattepatte | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | sIW ♿ | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Olovski '') | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kanylbulle | 209 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | Olovski '') | 202 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | Maaki | 174 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | 𝖈𝖍0𝖕 | 167 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | nbq | 120 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tom | +6.14 | 91 | 62 |
| #2 | nbq | +4.41 | 81 | 62 |
| #3 | ._. | +3.81 | 73 | 66 |
| #4 | kanylbulle | +1.06 | 61 | 62 |
| #5 | 𝖈𝖍0𝖕 | +0.86 | 64 | 82 |





