








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
934 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,084 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 980 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1270 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 978 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 856 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $390,615 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Berkut | 55% | 33 |
| #2 | Smokey the Bear | 51% | 88 |
| #3 | chirp | 49% | 72 |
| #4 | Boomhauer | 48% | 127 |
| #5 | Target | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Target | 44% | 27 |
| #6 | LITTER B㊉X | 43% | 63 |
| #7 | Angry B♿b R♿ss | 40% | 35 |
| #8 | Bhein | 38% | 21 |
| #9 | t-bone | 35% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chirp | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Berkut | 4 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Smokey the Bear | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Boomhauer | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | LITTER B㊉X | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boomhauer | 327 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | chirp | 262 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | Smokey the Bear | 87 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | LITTER B㊉X | 53 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Angry B♿b R♿ss | 52 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chirp | +1.80 | 82 | 68 |
| #2 | Boomhauer | +1.10 | 60 | 55 |
| #3 | [J]Mitch7 | +0.74 | 53 | 60 |
| #4 | Target | -0.64 | 37 | 66 |
| #5 | Smokey the Bear | -1.12 | 62 | 64 |





