








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 411 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 408 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4319 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,866 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 887 | 8% |
| Smokes | 3972 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 3936 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 2071 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,992,642 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 345 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ralph | 59% | 95 |
| #2 | b l u e | 57% | 44 |
| #3 | dgtl | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | ☂️ papaJ | 50% | 333 |
| #5 | Heffe | 48% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | b l u e | 57% | 44 |
| #3 | dgtl | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | ☂️ papaJ | 50% | 333 |
| #5 | Heffe | 48% | 141 |
| #6 | Devilicious | 47% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Devilicious | 9 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | ☂️ papaJ | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Heffe | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Ralph | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | b l u e | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☂️ papaJ | 474 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #2 | Devilicious | 397 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | Ralph | 243 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | b l u e | 163 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Heffe | 153 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ralph | +3.07 | 90 | 62 |
| #2 | dgtl | +1.80 | 73 | 75 |
| #3 | Duco | +0.08 | 75 | 41 |
| #4 | ☂️ papaJ | -0.12 | 60 | 59 |
| #5 | Devilicious | -0.21 | 69 | 54 |





