








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 405 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 570 matches | ||
| Wingman | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11484 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,036 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8299 | 24% |
| Smokes | 8905 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 9664 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 7168 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,439,198 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 428 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Duco | 59% | 95 |
| #2 | 𝒯𝓇𝓎𝓈𝓉 ♛ | 54% | 225 |
| #3 | b l u e | 52% | 571 |
| #4 | Rusty | 50% | 197 |
| #5 | Heffe | 50% | 699 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | b l u e | 52% | 571 |
| #4 | Rusty | 50% | 197 |
| #5 | Heffe | 50% | 699 |
| #6 | Devilicious | 47% | 114 |
| #7 | Vision | 46% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heffe | 31 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | b l u e | 12 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | 𝒯𝓇𝓎𝓈𝓉 ♛ | 10 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Devilicious | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Rusty | 5 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b l u e | 1524 | 0.14 | 33 min |
| #2 | Heffe | 765 | 0.05 | 21 min |
| #3 | 𝒯𝓇𝓎𝓈𝓉 ♛ | 652 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #4 | Rusty | 438 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #5 | Devilicious | 338 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ralph | +2.70 | 90 | 62 |
| #2 | 𝒯𝓇𝓎𝓈𝓉 ♛ | +0.38 | 82 | 57 |
| #3 | Devilicious | -0.02 | 68 | 55 |
| #4 | b l u e | -0.67 | 64 | 64 |
| #5 | Duco | -0.71 | 76 | 41 |





