








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 364 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 355 matches | ||
| Wingman | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4988 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,547 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7285 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6213 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6067 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4982 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,517,945 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 402 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Duco | 57% | 44 |
| #2 | Ralph | 52% | 571 |
| #3 | 𝒯𝓇𝓎𝓈𝓉 ♛ | 52% | 159 |
| #4 | Heffe | 50% | 347 |
| #5 | Rusty | 43% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Duco | 57% | 44 |
| #2 | Ralph | 52% | 571 |
| #3 | 𝒯𝓇𝓎𝓈𝓉 ♛ | 52% | 159 |
| #4 | Heffe | 50% | 347 |
| #5 | Rusty | 43% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heffe | 14 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | 𝒯𝓇𝓎𝓈𝓉 ♛ | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Ralph | 7 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Rusty | 4 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ralph | 1220 | 0.11 | 31 min |
| #2 | 𝒯𝓇𝓎𝓈𝓉 ♛ | 460 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #3 | Heffe | 350 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #4 | Rusty | 346 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | Duco | 38 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ralph | +2.81 | 90 | 63 |
| #2 | 𝒯𝓇𝓎𝓈𝓉 ♛ | +0.28 | 82 | 55 |
| #3 | b l u e | -0.52 | 64 | 65 |
| #4 | Heffe | -0.67 | 73 | 55 |
| #5 | Duco | -1.20 | 78 | 48 |





