








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 426 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 271 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3513 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,264 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2793 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3203 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3204 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2064 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $945,971 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 427 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ralph | 56% | 32 |
| #2 | dgtl | 51% | 35 |
| #3 | Duco | 50% | 333 |
| #4 | Heffe | 49% | 69 |
| #5 | Devilicious | 45% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ralph | 56% | 32 |
| #2 | dgtl | 51% | 35 |
| #3 | Duco | 50% | 333 |
| #4 | Heffe | 49% | 69 |
| #5 | Devilicious | 45% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Devilicious | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Duco | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Heffe | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | dgtl | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Ralph | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Devilicious | 290 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | Duco | 191 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #3 | dgtl | 156 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #4 | Ralph | 88 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Heffe | 62 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ralph | +3.12 | 91 | 64 |
| #2 | dgtl | +2.57 | 76 | 75 |
| #3 | Duco | +0.16 | 77 | 43 |
| #4 | ☂️ papaJ | +0.04 | 61 | 59 |
| #5 | Devilicious | -0.13 | 68 | 55 |





