








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 125 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 238 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3029 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,374 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3340 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4503 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3185 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3346 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $691,831 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Corrupt.cc | 52% | 29 |
| #9 | |IF| Mamba | 51% | 274 |
| #10 | Chokelele | 50% | 206 |
| #11 | _beNN | 45% | 38 |
| #12 | Certified Tupperware Connoisseur | 43% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheech | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | |IF| Mamba | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Chokelele | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Certified Tupperware Connoisseur | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | $ o N^ | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chokelele | 1120 | 0.26 | 27 min |
| #2 | $ o N^ | 785 | 0.22 | 24 min |
| #3 | Certified Tupperware Connoisseur | 652 | 0.26 | 13 min |
| #4 | Cheech | 539 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #5 | |IF| Mamba | 354 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the dead | +1.46 | 65 | 60 |
| #2 | Chokelele | +0.95 | 80 | 70 |
| #3 | $ o N^ | +0.06 | 66 | 85 |
| #4 | |IF| Mamba | +0.02 | 75 | 66 |
| #5 | Cheech | -0.04 | 62 | 66 |





