








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1679 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,916 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1704 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1392 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1013 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 807 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $545,691 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Cheech | 41% | 27 |
| #11 | Wess | 36% | 69 |
| #12 | Pongo | 30% | 30 |
| #13 | boose | 27% | 55 |
| #14 | GOOBERSTANK | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TRUE | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Wess | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Adraste | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | Copenhagen | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | GOOBERSTANK | 2 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chokelele | 124 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #2 | TRUE | 113 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Adraste | 99 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Copenhagen | 93 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Pongo | 85 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _beNN | +2.28 | 68 | 64 |
| #2 | get fukt | +2.27 | 92 | 65 |
| #3 | Adraste | +1.67 | 74 | 72 |
| #4 | Certified Tupperware Connoisseur | +0.92 | 69 | 61 |
| #5 | Cheech | +0.77 | 66 | 67 |





