








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 130 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 422 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5279 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,829 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3774 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4192 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3722 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3141 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,837,599 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | $ o N^ | 51% | 266 |
| #10 | Copenhagen | 51% | 274 |
| #11 | Cheech | 50% | 317 |
| #12 | _beNN | 45% | 49 |
| #13 | Certified Tupperware Connoisseur | 43% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheech | 9 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Chokelele | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Certified Tupperware Connoisseur | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Copenhagen | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | $ o N^ | 4 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chokelele | 1615 | 0.26 | 41 min |
| #2 | $ o N^ | 1251 | 0.23 | 38 min |
| #3 | Certified Tupperware Connoisseur | 1004 | 0.26 | 20 min |
| #4 | Cheech | 885 | 0.13 | 22 min |
| #5 | Copenhagen | 687 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chokelele | +1.26 | 80 | 71 |
| #2 | the dead | +0.92 | 65 | 59 |
| #3 | |IF| Mamba | +0.29 | 75 | 67 |
| #4 | Cheech | +0.18 | 62 | 66 |
| #5 | BRENDON | -0.36 | 45 | 79 |





