








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 95 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 288 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3858 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,878 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4171 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2597 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 4362 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2748 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $865,269 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Corrupt.cc | 49% | 45 |
| #11 | $ o N^ | 48% | 171 |
| #12 | sirFreekish | 45% | 42 |
| #13 | Certified Tupperware Connoisseur | 43% | 120 |
| #14 | _beNN | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | |IF| Mamba | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Chokelele | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Copenhagen | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | $ o N^ | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Certified Tupperware Connoisseur | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chokelele | 1011 | 0.27 | 26 min |
| #2 | $ o N^ | 815 | 0.22 | 26 min |
| #3 | Certified Tupperware Connoisseur | 719 | 0.27 | 14 min |
| #4 | Copenhagen | 496 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #5 | |IF| Mamba | 441 | 0.07 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the dead | +1.42 | 66 | 63 |
| #2 | Chokelele | +1.37 | 81 | 71 |
| #3 | |IF| Mamba | +0.37 | 74 | 66 |
| #4 | Cheech | +0.35 | 63 | 67 |
| #5 | Memely | +0.18 | 67 | 48 |





