








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 480 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Faceit | 101 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2866 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,192 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3195 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4026 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4122 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2849 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $675,813 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 260 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Onslaught | 66% | 53 |
| #2 | wheres my rabbit ? | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | OuchyW | 52% | 256 |
| #4 | Pancakes | 51% | 269 |
| #5 | Davey | 50% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | OuchyW | 52% | 256 |
| #4 | Pancakes | 51% | 269 |
| #5 | Davey | 50% | 153 |
| #6 | scrapp-eee | 49% | 145 |
| #7 | monK | 48% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OuchyW | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | monK | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Pancakes | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | scrapp-eee | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Davey | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OuchyW | 594 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #2 | Davey | 415 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | scrapp-eee | 382 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #4 | Pancakes | 253 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #5 | Onslaught | 200 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Onslaught | +1.26 | 72 | 77 |
| #2 | OuchyW | +0.77 | 40 | 77 |
| #3 | Pancakes | +0.62 | 46 | 69 |
| #4 | scrapp-eee | +0.32 | 46 | 74 |
| #5 | BaseMent HaXx | +0.15 | 55 | 71 |





