








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 542 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 76 matches | ||
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8219 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,209 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8143 | 26% |
| Smokes | 7572 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 8026 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 7468 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,165,921 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 533 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | macepts | 71% | 38 |
| #2 | Sunny | 69% | 49 |
| #3 | PsYcHo | 62% | 47 |
| #4 | Mattoy | 60% | 40 |
| #5 | Smoothment | 57% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | PoopyGrrl | 52% | 128 |
| #11 | timid | 50% | 44 |
| #12 | hashslingingslasher | 45% | 47 |
| #13 | CHRISTINAFKNBMWFRK | 43% | 90 |
| #14 | Finger | 42% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bon Jinko | 14 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | THe bron Jame | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Smoothment | 7 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | wperches | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | CHRISTINAFKNBMWFRK | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bon Jinko | 517 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #2 | wperches | 288 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #3 | Sunny | 287 | 0.38 | 10 min |
| #4 | THe bron Jame | 164 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Mattoy | 135 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sunny | +5.99 | 83 | 85 |
| #2 | macepts | +4.75 | 75 | 68 |
| #3 | Bongo | +3.63 | 72 | 52 |
| #4 | Azzy | +2.87 | 74 | 69 |
| #5 | PsYcHo | +2.43 | 48 | 62 |





