








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 308 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 161 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2288 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,642 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2127 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3081 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2544 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1890 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $547,423 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 206 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyle Ripper | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | MattyR | 71% | 66 |
| #3 | Kawshun! | 70% | 23 |
| #4 | Tall1 | 69% | 45 |
| #5 | ADZoR1 | 68% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ADZoR1 | 68% | 57 |
| #6 | s1Rprizzle | 62% | 78 |
| #7 | struGz | 58% | 194 |
| #8 | turtz | 57% | 112 |
| #9 | ADZoR! | 55% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ADZoR! | 18 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | turtz | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | s1Rprizzle | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | struGz | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | MattyR | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ADZoR! | 491 | 0.25 | 12 min |
| #2 | ADZoR1 | 308 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #3 | struGz | 235 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | MattyR | 225 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | turtz | 166 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MattyR | +2.59 | 83 | 57 |
| #2 | struGz | +2.13 | 81 | 63 |
| #3 | ADZoR! | +2.10 | 74 | 71 |
| #4 | ADZoR1 | +1.13 | 70 | 72 |
| #5 | s1Rprizzle | +0.82 | 59 | 59 |





