








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 348 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 318 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3507 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,265 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5185 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3042 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3162 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2876 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $532,900 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ADZoR1 | 77% | 62 |
| #2 | SKIZ | 71% | 66 |
| #3 | Tall1 | 66% | 154 |
| #4 | turtz | 65% | 100 |
| #5 | Kawshun! | 65% | 219 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Kawshun! | 65% | 219 |
| #6 | Kyle Ripper | 65% | 71 |
| #7 | ADZoR! | 64% | 144 |
| #8 | struGz | 62% | 197 |
| #9 | s1Rprizzle | 59% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ADZoR! | 11 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Kawshun! | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | struGz | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | SKIZ | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Tall1 | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ADZoR! | 671 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| #2 | Tall1 | 407 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | ADZoR1 | 331 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #4 | struGz | 263 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #5 | SKIZ | 188 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ADZoR1 | +2.77 | 77 | 75 |
| #2 | MattyR | +2.49 | 80 | 58 |
| #3 | ADZoR! | +2.37 | 79 | 72 |
| #4 | struGz | +1.83 | 80 | 64 |
| #5 | Kawshun! | +0.81 | 77 | 55 |





