








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1142 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Faceit | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 112 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5377 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,340 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3613 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2420 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3643 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2664 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,387,901 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1670 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | P1tcheD | 52% | 65 |
| #13 | 1Chance | 52% | 44 |
| #14 | pentaw1nz | 50% | 28 |
| #15 | Paddo | 48% | 66 |
| #16 | fallenn | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aNGEr | 22 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | P1tcheD | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Epibreren | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Fudge | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Shane ㋛ | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fudge | 290 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | aNGEr | 284 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | Kush it to the limit' | 248 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | P1tcheD | 203 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | 30SanchezZ | 148 | 0.13 | 3 min |





