










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 190 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 141 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1038 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,108 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 771 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1504 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2056 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 777 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $722,649 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aNGEr | 29 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | Mamoo | 21 | 0.0096 |
| #3 | Daily Drag | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aNGEr | 382 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | Mamoo | 141 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Daily Drag | 127 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Perfection | 95 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Minirosin | 22 | 0.06 | 0 min |





