










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 158 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4031 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,830 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3743 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5512 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5122 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3453 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,527,027 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 693 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Smuu | 55% | 85 |
| #10 | Mamoo | 55% | 152 |
| #11 | Minirosin | 55% | 29 |
| #12 | wRg | 53% | 30 |
| #13 | tanu =DD | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smuu | 323 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | wRg | 237 | 0.38 | 8 min |
| #3 | Perfection | 232 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | Mamoo | 190 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Epibreren | 190 | 0.07 | 5 min |





