








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 294 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Faceit | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3486 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,354 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4425 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4946 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2150 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2833 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,536,626 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 617 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | at4 | 63% | 72 |
| #2 | Shane ㋛ | 59% | 78 |
| #3 | pentaw1nz | 58% | 31 |
| #4 | EL Fame | 58% | 31 |
| #5 | 1Chance | 55% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | pLx | 52% | 25 |
| #10 | P1tcheD | 52% | 180 |
| #11 | Ikey | 51% | 49 |
| #12 | Perfection | 48% | 66 |
| #13 | Kush it to the limit' | 48% | 192 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fudge | 13 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | P1tcheD | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Kush it to the limit' | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Shane ㋛ | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Perfection | 4 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P1tcheD | 532 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | Fudge | 423 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | Kush it to the limit' | 357 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #4 | Shane ㋛ | 203 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | pentaw1nz | 100 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ikey | +2.01 | 80 | 63 |
| #2 | at4 | +2.00 | 76 | 55 |
| #3 | TG ZoLe=Clean | +1.93 | 82 | 65 |
| #4 | Shane ㋛ | +1.74 | 73 | 75 |
| #5 | P1tcheD | +1.49 | 78 | 65 |





