








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 629 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 63 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2067 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,949 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3275 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2692 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2083 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1899 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $333,098 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SähköKYLJYSsirkus | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Vuokko | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | Nebu | 67% | 33 |
| #4 | Sukka | 64% | 28 |
| #5 | WiLzU | 61% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | Gosuedo | 45% | 20 |
| #15 | Keitsi | 40% | 10 |
| #16 | Rolle♛ | 40% | 10 |
| #17 | el Hipsy | 36% | 11 |
| #18 | Dekkis | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koutsi | 5 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | Muurari | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | naamapaab0b | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | petsku | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Nebu | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Muurari | 207 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | WiLzU | 207 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | naamapaab0b | 189 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #4 | koutsi | 142 | 0.29 | 4 min |
| #5 | Keitsi | 96 | 0.50 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sukka | +3.54 | 86 | 72 |
| #2 | koutsi | +2.81 | 83 | 66 |
| #3 | naamapaab0b | +2.16 | 88 | 70 |
| #4 | Nebu | +2.01 | 61 | 67 |
| #5 | jONKKER | +1.85 | 78 | 75 |





