








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 405 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 383 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4541 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,994 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4142 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3611 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3280 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3961 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,660,606 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 285 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CY0NiK | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | FusiioN | 59% | 34 |
| #3 | Packy | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | thicc thighs save lives | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | coastin | 56% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | CashMoe | 50% | 24 |
| #10 | Bnaugs | 48% | 82 |
| #11 | -Icarus | 44% | 70 |
| #12 | String Bean | 44% | 112 |
| #13 | 1,000 Denials | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bnaugs | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | thicc thighs save lives | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Ρ Δ π― ΓΉ π€ | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | FusiioN | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | CashMoe | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | String Bean | 580 | 0.24 | 16 min |
| #2 | -Icarus | 308 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #3 | Bnaugs | 287 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | 1,000 Denials | 202 | 0.33 | 5 min |
| #5 | kam | 169 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CY0NiK | +2.47 | 81 | 59 |
| #2 | TheSwaggyMcYolo | +2.16 | 90 | 76 |
| #3 | coastin | +1.33 | 91 | 42 |
| #4 | FusiioN | +0.77 | 72 | 73 |
| #5 | Packy | -0.07 | 66 | 68 |





