








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 367 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Esplay | 56 matches | 1,749 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1699 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,446 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3031 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2283 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2963 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2169 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $626,658 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 76 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jogi | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | TatoH | 53% | 96 |
| #3 | eXICKED | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | VARZ | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | Lundinho | 51% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | mihle | 43% | 14 |
| #9 | hybrid | 42% | 19 |
| #10 | Rudaa | 42% | 12 |
| #11 | smud.arney | 40% | 20 |
| #12 | bRUNOBANANI (it's a name) | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | artie | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | TatoH | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Lundinho | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | jogi | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | mihle | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TatoH | 509 | 0.23 | 13 min |
| #2 | artie | 174 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #3 | raaay | 114 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #4 | Lundinho | 88 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | VARZ | 59 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TatoH | +2.79 | 77 | 72 |
| #2 | raaay | +1.11 | 67 | 65 |
| #3 | smud.arney | +1.02 | 75 | 74 |
| #4 | hybrid | +0.64 | 82 | 67 |
| #5 | Rudaa | +0.28 | 42 | 58 |





