








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 390 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 166 matches | ||
| Faceit | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3991 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,624 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8872 | 38% |
| Smokes | 4640 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 5428 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4684 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $918,901 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 761 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tommux | 64% | 33 |
| #2 | Jarii | 59% | 124 |
| #3 | kuidemæn | 58% | 36 |
| #4 | prnd | 58% | 31 |
| #5 | karriSツ | 58% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Foxeriino | 47% | 87 |
| #13 | Valio Play Maitokaakao | 46% | 46 |
| #14 | Jocke | 44% | 32 |
| #15 | Larbis | 44% | 32 |
| #16 | Tobye | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | muussi | 348 | 0.26 | 11 min |
| #2 | Aspartaam1 | 238 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | saNppa™ | 142 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Swagalee | 132 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Jarii | 123 | 0.05 | 4 min |





