








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 303 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 107 matches | ||
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1745 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,515 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2985 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3062 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3083 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2385 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $590,762 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 306 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bRUTUS | 68% | 37 |
| #2 | ipurnauju | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | prnd | 55% | 60 |
| #4 | Valio Play Maitokaakao | 55% | 66 |
| #5 | sasu123 | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Kuumo | 43% | 23 |
| #12 | kuidemæn | 42% | 45 |
| #13 | Foxeriino | 40% | 15 |
| #14 | DimEEE | 39% | 28 |
| #15 | Swagalee | 38% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kuidemæn | 6 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Swagalee | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Kuumo | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Spammy | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Valio Play Maitokaakao | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spammy | 311 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | Swagalee | 167 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | kuidemæn | 121 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | prnd | 86 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Valio Play Maitokaakao | 74 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thmz | +5.03 | 89 | 75 |
| #2 | prnd | +3.55 | 72 | 64 |
| #3 | bRUTUS | +3.10 | 75 | 68 |
| #4 | Foxeriino | +1.61 | 48 | 60 |
| #5 | sasu123 | +1.43 | 65 | 68 |





