








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 528 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 246 matches | ||
| Faceit | 173 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2694 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,930 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3559 | 14% |
| Smokes | 8270 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 7364 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 6737 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $625,136 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 162 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bRUTUS | 62% | 112 |
| #2 | KRR#17 | 58% | 36 |
| #3 | prnd | 58% | 104 |
| #4 | Valio Play Maitokaakao | 53% | 120 |
| #5 | Spammy | 50% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | Kuumo | 40% | 42 |
| #16 | Aspartaam1 | 38% | 128 |
| #17 | ipurnauju | 37% | 35 |
| #18 | skutsi +rep | 32% | 112 |
| #19 | Kytis (t.tv/ogkytis) | 25% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kuidemæn | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | bRUTUS | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Valio Play Maitokaakao | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Grazziella | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Aspartaam1 | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kuidemæn | 593 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #2 | Spammy | 371 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #3 | Aspartaam1 | 358 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #4 | bRUTUS | 194 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Touch | 192 | 0.19 | 6 min |





