








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 71 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 70 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
538 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,084 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 788 | 26% |
| Smokes | 767 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 931 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 598 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $250,663 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Serviet | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Mifu | 71% | 51 |
| #3 | LegendenCSGO | 64% | 47 |
| #4 | ぷ ๖BullDog! | 63% | 19 |
| #5 | Nixxo | 61% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ぷ ๖BullDog! | 63% | 19 |
| #5 | Nixxo | 61% | 66 |
| #6 | Zejeo | 56% | 41 |
| #7 | Wizard Without Hat | 55% | 42 |
| #8 | HoMieS | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nixxo | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nixxo | 230 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | Mifu | 155 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Zejeo | 116 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Wizard Without Hat | 113 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | ぷ ๖BullDog! | 95 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ぷ ๖BullDog! | +1.61 | 55 | 68 |
| #2 | Serviet | +0.99 | 48 | 77 |
| #3 | Nixxo | +0.95 | 64 | 75 |
| #4 | Zejeo | +0.66 | 71 | 63 |
| #5 | Wizard Without Hat | +0.59 | 79 | 75 |





