








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 64 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 196 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1902 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,332 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2224 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1706 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 799 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1603 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $740,113 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Discount Snaski, | 56% | 41 |
| #2 | Mifu | 55% | 113 |
| #3 | ぷ ๖BullDog! | 53% | 83 |
| #4 | Nixxo | 48% | 165 |
| #5 | Wizard Without Hat | 48% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ぷ ๖BullDog! | 53% | 83 |
| #4 | Nixxo | 48% | 165 |
| #5 | Wizard Without Hat | 48% | 84 |
| #6 | LegendenCSGO | 45% | 115 |
| #7 | HoMieS | 39% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nixxo | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #2 | Wizard Without Hat | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | HoMieS | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nixxo | 640 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #2 | ぷ ๖BullDog! | 443 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #3 | Mifu | 352 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #4 | Wizard Without Hat | 254 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | LegendenCSGO | 202 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wizard Without Hat | +1.13 | 78 | 74 |
| #2 | Nixxo | +1.04 | 57 | 76 |
| #3 | ぷ ๖BullDog! | +0.76 | 55 | 72 |
| #4 | Discount Snaski, | -0.20 | 50 | 70 |
| #5 | Zejeo | -0.24 | 73 | 60 |





