








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 64 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 153 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1549 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,031 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1490 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1968 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1964 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1609 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $600,603 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XeoLiZ^ | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Discount Snaski, | 64% | 47 |
| #3 | Mifu | 57% | 116 |
| #4 | Nixxo | 52% | 159 |
| #5 | Wizard Without Hat | 49% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Nixxo | 52% | 159 |
| #5 | Wizard Without Hat | 49% | 74 |
| #6 | Zejeo | 45% | 115 |
| #7 | ぷ ๖BullDog! | 43% | 58 |
| #8 | HoMieS | 41% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zejeo | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Nixxo | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #3 | Mifu | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | Wizard Without Hat | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | HoMieS | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nixxo | 621 | 0.17 | 18 min |
| #2 | Mifu | 437 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #3 | Zejeo | 314 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | ぷ ๖BullDog! | 268 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #5 | Wizard Without Hat | 207 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nixxo | +1.46 | 57 | 80 |
| #2 | Wizard Without Hat | +1.08 | 78 | 75 |
| #3 | ぷ ๖BullDog! | +0.40 | 51 | 72 |
| #4 | Mifu | -0.22 | 60 | 83 |
| #5 | LegendenCSGO | -0.65 | 63 | 65 |





