








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 216 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2470 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,354 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2708 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3492 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3021 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3133 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $544,634 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Discount Snaski, | 61% | 66 |
| #2 | Mifu | 58% | 178 |
| #3 | Wizard Without Hat | 53% | 118 |
| #4 | LegendenCSGO | 52% | 159 |
| #5 | ぷ ๖BullDog! | 51% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Wizard Without Hat | 53% | 118 |
| #4 | LegendenCSGO | 52% | 159 |
| #5 | ぷ ๖BullDog! | 51% | 93 |
| #6 | HoMieS | 50% | 100 |
| #7 | Zejeo | 48% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mifu | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | Zejeo | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | LegendenCSGO | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | Wizard Without Hat | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | HoMieS | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mifu | 607 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #2 | Zejeo | 460 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #3 | ぷ ๖BullDog! | 435 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #4 | Wizard Without Hat | 333 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #5 | LegendenCSGO | 270 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wizard Without Hat | +1.18 | 78 | 75 |
| #2 | Nixxo | +1.10 | 57 | 76 |
| #3 | ぷ ๖BullDog! | +0.80 | 54 | 71 |
| #4 | Mifu | -0.15 | 61 | 80 |
| #5 | LegendenCSGO | -0.74 | 63 | 66 |





