








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 201 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 325 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3354 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,211 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4025 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5248 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4021 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3917 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $717,465 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Discount Snaski, | 71% | 51 |
| #2 | Wizard Without Hat | 60% | 91 |
| #3 | YUNG NOOB 1337 | 59% | 39 |
| #4 | Nixxo | 58% | 178 |
| #5 | LegendenCSGO | 57% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | -Peaky- | 45% | 66 |
| #12 | hur | 42% | 24 |
| #13 | CHICKEN ☣ | 41% | 88 |
| #14 | D3nM4rk | 39% | 18 |
| #15 | Vammze | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nixxo | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | Zejeo | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Vammze | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | LegendenCSGO | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Wizard Without Hat | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nixxo | 562 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #2 | ぷ ๖BullDog! | 318 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | Zejeo | 299 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | Wizard Without Hat | 229 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | LegendenCSGO | 181 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vammze | +2.87 | 78 | 64 |
| #2 | YUNG NOOB 1337 | +2.84 | 81 | 52 |
| #3 | Wizard Without Hat | +1.51 | 79 | 75 |
| #4 | D3nM4rk | +1.43 | 72 | 57 |
| #5 | Nixxo | +1.27 | 56 | 74 |





