








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 709 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 222 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3462 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,675 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3697 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3418 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2818 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2742 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $701,903 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 302 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skunkner | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | D4VID0 | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | felixG | 69% | 32 |
| #4 | fICHTAR | 61% | 54 |
| #5 | ConAction#Ping4Life <3 | 56% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | nastY ♥ | 48% | 29 |
| #13 | m1chi | 46% | 113 |
| #14 | blizker | 42% | 33 |
| #15 | deus | 41% | 71 |
| #16 | insi | 19% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eRz | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | jns | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | ConAction#Ping4Life <3 | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | fuqdat. | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | m1chi | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fuqdat. | 333 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #2 | deus | 314 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #3 | eRz | 312 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #4 | m1chi | 309 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | ConAction#Ping4Life <3 | 230 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eRz | +2.30 | 71 | 67 |
| #2 | hakken\ | +1.94 | 76 | 72 |
| #3 | ConAction#Ping4Life <3 | +1.28 | 71 | 63 |
| #4 | nastY ♥ | +0.50 | 73 | 73 |
| #5 | skunkner | +0.42 | 71 | 57 |





