








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 350 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 224 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2916 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,355 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3346 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2140 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1999 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1870 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,248,763 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 594 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fICHTAR | 59% | 138 |
| #2 | nastY ♥ | 59% | 29 |
| #3 | felixG | 58% | 137 |
| #4 | Das Tier | 57% | 67 |
| #5 | hakken\ | 56% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | fuqdat. | 54% | 54 |
| #8 | ahrens | 53% | 133 |
| #9 | D4VID0 | 48% | 31 |
| #10 | skunkner | 47% | 72 |
| #11 | BROCONUT | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fuqdat. | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | skunkner | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | fICHTAR | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | felixG | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | hakken\ | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ahrens | 561 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #2 | fICHTAR | 363 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | hakken\ | 355 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #4 | jns | 264 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #5 | fuqdat. | 240 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hakken\ | +3.10 | 75 | 73 |
| #2 | ConAction#Ping4Life <3 | +2.99 | 68 | 59 |
| #3 | nastY ♥ | +1.67 | 73 | 77 |
| #4 | fuqdat. | +0.04 | 77 | 68 |
| #5 | skunkner | +0.04 | 70 | 61 |





