








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 162 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2300 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,402 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2610 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1514 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1786 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1492 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $433,485 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skunkner | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | nastY ♥ | 58% | 50 |
| #3 | hakken\ | 55% | 78 |
| #4 | ConAction#Ping4Life <3 | 54% | 54 |
| #5 | stffn` | 52% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | mell0w | 50% | 16 |
| #12 | felixG | 50% | 32 |
| #13 | micha` | 49% | 63 |
| #14 | D4VID0 | 49% | 39 |
| #15 | m1chi | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Victor Hugenay | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | ConAction#Ping4Life <3 | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | hakken\ | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | micha` | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | ☭ SteeLe. | 2 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hakken\ | 333 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #2 | nastY ♥ | 227 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #3 | fICHTAR | 173 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | micha` | 170 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | ConAction#Ping4Life <3 | 163 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hakken\ | +2.81 | 76 | 74 |
| #2 | ConAction#Ping4Life <3 | +1.81 | 72 | 60 |
| #3 | micha` | +1.14 | 77 | 67 |
| #4 | nastY ♥ | +1.08 | 72 | 73 |
| #5 | fuqdat. | +0.37 | 76 | 69 |





