








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 299 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 336 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3901 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,396 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2130 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3674 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2955 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2637 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,615,895 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | micha` | 59% | 27 |
| #2 | Victor Hugenay | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | ConAction#Ping4Life <3 | 54% | 183 |
| #4 | hakken\ | 52% | 129 |
| #5 | fuqdat. | 51% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | nastY ♥ | 44% | 66 |
| #11 | BROCONUT | 44% | 32 |
| #12 | skunkner | 42% | 97 |
| #13 | ahrens | 41% | 200 |
| #14 | Das Tier | 40% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ConAction#Ping4Life <3 | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | fuqdat. | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | hakken\ | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | ahrens | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | skunkner | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ahrens | 852 | 0.20 | 25 min |
| #2 | hakken\ | 562 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #3 | fICHTAR | 490 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #4 | ConAction#Ping4Life <3 | 474 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #5 | fuqdat. | 379 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ConAction#Ping4Life <3 | +2.74 | 69 | 61 |
| #2 | hakken\ | +2.44 | 75 | 73 |
| #3 | micha` | +1.63 | 82 | 71 |
| #4 | nastY ♥ | +0.86 | 76 | 74 |
| #5 | skunkner | +0.22 | 64 | 62 |





