








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 961 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 500 matches | ||
| Wingman | 135 matches | ||
| Faceit | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10476 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,254 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11055 | 31% |
| Smokes | 6971 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 10173 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 7055 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,189,801 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 255 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | d1eh4rd | 53% | 129 |
| #7 | deus | 52% | 747 |
| #8 | schRsch | 52% | 161 |
| #9 | m1chi | 51% | 523 |
| #10 | Nahasa | 50% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deus | 27 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | m1chi | 18 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | d1eh4rd | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | blizker | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | schRsch | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deus | 2525 | 0.17 | 66 min |
| #2 | m1chi | 740 | 0.07 | 16 min |
| #3 | schRsch | 382 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #4 | hakken\ | 335 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #5 | blizker | 268 | 0.05 | 8 min |





