








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 266 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 310 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3693 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,329 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3967 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4204 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4469 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2689 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $930,271 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | bnq | 51% | 211 |
| #9 | ekuB | 50% | 230 |
| #10 | Larry Niles | 49% | 68 |
| #11 | The OG Nibbler | 47% | 116 |
| #12 | Jontte | 46% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Billy | 13 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | bnq | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | ekuB | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Larry Niles | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | The OG Nibbler | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ekuB | 828 | 0.17 | 23 min |
| #2 | bnq | 793 | 0.18 | 22 min |
| #3 | -Billy | 662 | 0.23 | 17 min |
| #4 | säynis | 338 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #5 | Jontte | 225 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Public Idiot Number One | +2.57 | 72 | 66 |
| #2 | shyyshglababii -_- | +1.40 | 71 | 66 |
| #3 | -Billy | +0.67 | 64 | 75 |
| #4 | saZy | +0.66 | 84 | 64 |
| #5 | bnq | +0.45 | 50 | 68 |





