








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 601 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 592 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5805 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,584 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7109 | 26% |
| Smokes | 7393 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6654 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 6428 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,476,189 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 207 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | saZy | 54% | 50 |
| #2 | -Billy | 52% | 46 |
| #3 | Public Idiot Number One | 51% | 211 |
| #4 | eMpi. | 50% | 50 |
| #5 | The OG Nibbler | 50% | 412 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | The OG Nibbler | 50% | 412 |
| #6 | ekuB | 49% | 506 |
| #7 | säynis | 49% | 212 |
| #8 | shyyshglababii -_- | 48% | 62 |
| #9 | Larry Niles | 48% | 178 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The OG Nibbler | 16 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | ekuB | 13 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Larry Niles | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | -Billy | 8 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | Public Idiot Number One | 7 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ekuB | 1613 | 0.15 | 42 min |
| #2 | säynis | 894 | 0.20 | 23 min |
| #3 | The OG Nibbler | 508 | 0.06 | 15 min |
| #4 | Public Idiot Number One | 454 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #5 | -Billy | 240 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Public Idiot Number One | +2.48 | 73 | 65 |
| #2 | saZy | +1.91 | 78 | 60 |
| #3 | shyyshglababii -_- | +1.70 | 69 | 64 |
| #4 | bnq | +0.75 | 50 | 70 |
| #5 | The OG Nibbler | +0.67 | 66 | 61 |





