








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 401 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 381 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4312 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,401 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2177 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3300 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3040 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2884 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,433,429 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bnq | 50% | 412 |
| #2 | Public Idiot Number One | 47% | 116 |
| #3 | ekuB | 47% | 347 |
| #4 | säynis | 47% | 127 |
| #5 | Larry Niles | 46% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Public Idiot Number One | 47% | 116 |
| #3 | ekuB | 47% | 347 |
| #4 | säynis | 47% | 127 |
| #5 | Larry Niles | 46% | 114 |
| #6 | shyyshglababii -_- | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bnq | 12 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | ekuB | 10 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Larry Niles | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Public Idiot Number One | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | shyyshglababii -_- | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bnq | 1560 | 0.18 | 42 min |
| #2 | ekuB | 1156 | 0.16 | 30 min |
| #3 | säynis | 531 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #4 | Public Idiot Number One | 253 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Larry Niles | 128 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Public Idiot Number One | +2.38 | 74 | 66 |
| #2 | shyyshglababii -_- | +1.46 | 67 | 63 |
| #3 | The OG Nibbler | +0.67 | 66 | 61 |
| #4 | bnq | +0.65 | 49 | 71 |
| #5 | säynis | -0.38 | 58 | 71 |





