








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 233 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1111 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,180 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 424 | 13% |
| Smokes | 791 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 990 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 975 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $466,360 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dribbelkung | 59% | 37 |
| #2 | ⛟Ponkless😏⛟ | 57% | 54 |
| #3 | Algfred | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | PatterP | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | Jesper:) | 55% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | PatterP | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | Jesper:) | 55% | 80 |
| #6 | Agst🐧 | 50% | 18 |
| #7 | CapsXD | 50% | 22 |
| #8 | Lu_K_aS | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesper:) | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | ⛟Ponkless😏⛟ | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | dribbelkung | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Agst🐧 | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesper:) | 156 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | ⛟Ponkless😏⛟ | 131 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Lu_K_aS | 103 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | dribbelkung | 83 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Agst🐧 | 52 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lu_K_aS | +1.81 | 85 | 75 |
| #2 | dribbelkung | +1.34 | 83 | 69 |
| #3 | Jesper:) | +0.65 | 81 | 66 |
| #4 | Emil'acc | +0.60 | 79 | 56 |
| #5 | ⛟Ponkless😏⛟ | -0.46 | 61 | 59 |





